Signs it is true love and also, maybe not.

Sweet, sweet love. Here are some signs you may have found starry-eyed, soul altering, my face hurts from smiling so much, love. Not, “I met this gorgeous guy last night after having three margaritas…” love. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a little infatuation, but I hope you recognize the differences and protect your little heart. True love may start out as infatuation, perhaps it always does, but at some point it should feel different. How do you know your love is true? Here are some signs I believe make all the difference!

We need to talk…

Communication is the key to your heart.  You should be able to talk to this other human being like you have known them for years, or lifetimes. Your soul is naked and there are no hidden secrets or embarrassments that you aren’t willing to share eventually. They should be able to express their own as well, no judgments. I’ve dated because someone was physically appealing to me and realized that was shallow and I longed for someone I could have great conversation with.  Even if you did not feel attracted to this person initially, you never know what a deep conversation could spark. It’s not always about image y’all.

Happy as a clam…

He wants you to be happy. Even if it means letting the relationship go for a while or forever. I have struggled with mental illness (generalized anxiety disorder) most of my adolescence and early adulthood. I was going through significant life changes and have recently sucked a lot of poison out of my life. Of course, I met someone very special during this time who ended up living 1,500 miles from me. We had a conversation about a month into our relationship and he said to me, “If being with me is detrimental to your well-being and happiness in any way I’ll let you go, but I will always be here for you.” As much as it broke my heart to hear that, it was so right on. Being happy with someone starts with you first. I know, I know. You hear it all the time, but it brings me to my next point.

I don’t need you… 

I do want you though, badly. Rawr. What you need is to be content alone. I have been in a few very unhealthy relationships and it took me so long to realize I was part of the problem. I didn’t love myself and self-love is needed to attract true love. It takes years for change, at least for me, and patience. The sooner you get your mind, body, and soul into shape…the sooner your Ryan Gosling will come waltzing into your precious life.

Let’s talk about sex, baby…

Yeah, that’s right, SEX. Your sex life should be an open book. If you are with a mature, loving man he will want to talk about what you like in bed, what he likes and everything in between. Get it? For me, verbally communicating anything sexual makes me blush like a nerdy little school girl. When you meet the right one and get over your ‘sexual shyness’ you should be able to explain exactly what you want. Once I let my embarrassment about my female anatomy go, I felt like a new woman.

He kisses you on the forehead…

Need I write more? I didn’t think so.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T …

Yes, it’s a great song. He respects you and your body and doesn’t look at you like you just turned into a minion when you talk about your period. Minions are cute though. You are female and that is a beautiful thing! Embrace it, love it, and nurture it because your “one” will love everything about your body and want to treat it just as sacred as it is. Aside from physical respect should be emotional respect. Manipulative tactics, lies, and snooping isn’t true love. That sisters is borderline obsession and selfishness. More people put up with emotional abuse in relationships than you think, if this is happening to you…run! Soul mates are always waiting around the corner anyway, just when you least expect it…

Music to my ears…

I don’t know about you but music is so, so important! It makes those scenes in films that much more heart wrenching, a perfect background for a solo dance in the kitchen, and therapy for the soul. Whether you like instrumental or straight up gangster rap, you and your person should connect musically. Getting a text from him with a link to a song that made him think of you, is utterly adorable.

Ew babe, I look gross…

Well, maybe we do, but for some reason the men don’t agree when they are in love. If you get a line like this, “Babe, you look so damn cute when you snore…” then it’s definitely love. When a guy starts thinking everything you do is “so damn cute” he’s fallen and can’t get up. When you’re lounging in his Tee with three-day old hair and he makes you feel as pretty as Scarlett Johansson, it’s amour.

Ummm, who the &%$* is that?!

“Babe, I don’t know, he just told me money was falling out of my pocket…” so technically the guy was staring at your booty for a second. Who cares! Your boyfriend should be flattered if anyone thinks his girlfriend is hot and trust that you respect him enough to be faithful. If he is constantly questioning what you’re doing, who you’re with, and making you feel bad about it… it’s not true love.

I am so in love with you…

If he’s in love with you, he’s going to tell you. If he’s secure, confident, and honest he’s going to let you know how he is feeling. My number one was communication and if he can communicate his love for you then it’s definitely real.

In conclusion, these are signs from personal experience I think many people have experienced. Now go run around your city screaming “I’m in love!” I’m just kidding, please don’t.